The CAIR Bears Are Here

December 4, 2007


Although in the United States of America, a teddy bear may only be named “Teddy” in honor of our illustrious former President Teddy Roosevelt (see “Teddy Bear Lessons”), in Muslim countries a teddy bear may be called by whatsoever name one chooses, as long as said chosen name is NOT “Mohammad.”

The CAIR Bears are Here.”

They go by many names, all “legal”, as there is not a Mohammad in the bunch. Look for them at your local CAIRMart or BombsRUs toy store. They are:

  • the “dressed to kill” Jihad Bear;
  • the full burka clad female Sharia Bear;
  • the “Evil Zionist” Likud Bear; 
  • the Allah Ack-Bear which includes a self destruct button that explodes taking its owner with it;
  • the Scare Bear;
  • the Ayatollah Bear – greatly exalted for his issuing of death-fatwas upon infidels;
  • the “headless” Infidel Bear;
  • the detachable headed Kaffir Bear;
  • the orange suited Club Gitmo Bear; 
  • the Assassin Bear which comes with a real sword;
  • the Shiite Bear and the Baby Shiite Bear with its own “Mohammad” Piggy Bank;
  • the Bare Mullah;  
  • the Imam Hamza Bear with one eye and one arm; and
  • the Prayer Bear that comes with a prayer rug and a compass.

There is absolutely nothing soft and cuddly, nor fuzzy-wuzzy about these CAIR Bears. They are grizzly bears, with sharp teeth and claws and bodies stuffed with IEDs. They are all ready to self destruct and take you along with them, “kinda” like their own “Religion of Peace.”

WARNING: Do not give these CAIR Bears as Christmas or Hanukkah gifts. One person has already suffered for doing so. She purchased the Prayer Bear and then placed him upon his prayer rug, which she mistook for a magic carpet. She commanded him to fly around the room. He did just that while mumbling some Arabic gibberish, then landed under her Holiday tree, lit a fuse in his bear paw and blew up the entire family room.

DISCLAIMER: There are those who are calling the manufacture of the CAIR Bears to be an ugly, ignorant and intolerant slur upon another culture. Some are claiming that the creators of the make-believe CAIR Bears are worse fundamentalist extremists than any of the real Islamic extremists. Think of this. Ridicule and laughter at our enemies’ idiotic and lunatic behavior is a far more humane weapon than those that they wield against us. Indeed, satire and overdue mass-mockery may very well be the best weapon of all against such lunacy as the killing and/or flogging of a school teacher in the name of teddy bears. (See “Teddy Bear Lessons“)

The image, Mohammed Bear, is subject to copyright by j.fishers. It is posted here with permission via the Flickr API by barneykin.