Obama, He’s NO Caroline Kennedy “You Know”

January 23, 2009

Obama Speaks – But He’s NO Caroline Kennedy! He’s worse! But no one’s brave enough to tell him!

It is one good thing for Barack Obama that he was not born a woman like “You Know” Caroline Kennedy. He would be burnt toast, “You Know.”  Obama would never have survived the vetting to be appointed a Senator, much less become the President of the United States of America, “You Know.” Three “Uhs” and Four “You Knows” in just fourteen seconds sets a world record that even Ms. Kennedy has never beaten. It must be their uppercrusted Harvard University education, that most of the rest of us lack.

WOW! We got us such an articulate “UH” President, who would ever “UH” ‘misunderestimate’ him, “You Know?”

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 Barack Obama to the Press: “Ask me no questions and I’ll tell you no lies, ‘UH’ … ‘You Know.'”


The Black Hole of Grievances

July 18, 2008

This insanity is one more reason why Barack Obama cannot be elected President of these United States.

The YouTube video shows  a commissioner in Dallas discussing traffic tickets that just seem to disappear into a “Black Hole.” However, there is more than one ignoramus on the Dallas commission who took offense at the phrase “Black Hole.” Apparently these dunces have never heard of outer space; all they can relate to are “Black Hoes” or “Black Hos” or however the term for black woman is spelled by Rappers. The dunces took immediate umbrage that a white man would dare to speak Rapper language, and became racially offended, demanding an apology. When The First Dunce is interviewed afterwards, he complained that it’s also hurtful that “angel food cakes” are white, and “devil’s food cakes” are black. Good Lord, some people can take offence so easily that their racist grievances could fill up that Black Hole in no time flat.

Now I never knew that “Devil’s Food Cake” was black. All that I’ve ever seen were “Chocolate.” However, in today’s United States, “Chocolate” is probably a racist slur too, although I’m not really sure. I just cannot keep abreast with all the changes in the language brought about by people who can barely speak our Shakespeare’s beloved English. All I know, Dallas, is that these are YOUR “elected” leaders!  Color should not matter. What should matter, is to elect grown-ups with brains, which you have failed to do.

This incident in Dallas has nothing to do with Presidential candidate Barack Obama, yet it has everything to do with him. If he cannot be treated like every other candidate who has run for President for fear of offending his “fragile” racial psyche, how can he be tempered by the fire of the campaign and have his mettle tested? Answer – he cannot in today’s atmosphere of demand for racist grievances. 

When citizens go to the polls to vote in November, no matter how attractive Barack Obama, voters will be remembering “Black Holes,” the screeds of Reverend Wright, Whoopie Goldberg’s language on morning television, and last but not least the “most reverend” Reverend Jesse Jackson, all of whom continually demand that the rest of us treat members of their race as delicate, immature children.

Why Can’t the English Be More Like the Portuguese?

May 17, 2008

Reform “Spells” Big Changes for Britain

Prime Minister Gordon Brown supported the reform as did Labour, the Lib Dems and the Conservatives.

Britain’s parliament has voted to introduce contentious changes to their English language in order to spell hundreds of words the American way; thereby bringing their antiquated language into the modern era.

The agreement standardizes (not standardises) numerous spellings and adds three new letters – o, z and er – to the alphabet. A large majority of Britain’s lawmakers backed government proposals to phase in the changes during the next six years.

But a petition against the move was signed by 33,000 Britons and 100,000 Canadians who argue it is a capitulation to America’s already too powerful influence upon the English-speaking world. Proponents counter the move will make the English language more uniform globally, making such things as internet searches and legal documents easier to understand.

The agreement will standardize spelling by spelling “standardise” as it should be spelled (not spelt) – “standardize.” The new agreement will remove the stilted “ou” in order for words to be spelled (not spelt) more phonetically, turning, for example “Labour” (such as ‘The Labour Party’) into “Labor”. Henceforth, and forever more, the unpronounceable “re” at the ending of words will be transformed to “er”, as it should be. There are no “theatres” in American, only “theaters.”

Friday’s vote came after a unified form of the old English language was originally agreed with seven old English-speaking countries in 1991.

The official language of more than 300 million people worldwide, American is spoken in the United States of America, including all of its territories. In addition, American is not only the language of global business, it is the language of world-wide art, science, and literature. American is the second language for virtually all inhabitants of the globe who have a second language, including some Britons. Even the French, when forced to speak a second tongue, always choose American over English.

Prime Minister Gordon Brown and the British Parliament are expected to ratify the accord, with the blessing of the Queen, who has agreed, with the stipulation that “The Queen’s English” henceforth be awarded the status of a National Treasure.

With apologies from Kerfuffles to BBC News, and asking “Why can’t the British be more like the Portuguese?”