Congress Disses “We the People”

January 24, 2010
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Shocking News on Michael Jackson

June 28, 2009

New Shocking News!

Michael Jackson’s White Children Were Not His Own!

OMG, Who Knew? The children’s mother reveals all. It was just too risky for any woman to give birth to a biological child of Michael Jackson, as the child could be born … “horrors of horrors” – BLACK. Michael was WHITE you know, so that would be a disgrace for any child of his to be born BLACK! After-all, not only was Michael Jackson WHITE, but all of his wives were WHITE!

Meanwhile, America’s African American community is in deep morning over the loss of the music/dance icon who bridged the great American divide between Blacks and Whites by sacrificing his own skin color.

The Big Hollywood Scoop of the Day

Debbie Rowe’s Confession – Michael Jackson NOT the Father

United States House of Representatives Gives Tribute to Michael Jackson


U.S. House Honors Michael Jackson

June 26, 2009

Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. Called for A Moment of Crotch-grabbing in Tribute to Michael Jackson.

Today, the United States House of Representatives violated the Constitutional prohibition on mingling religion with government, by giving thanks to God for newly deceased pop star, Michael Jackson, whom Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. of Illinois said not only “changed the world,” but changed himself from a Black man into a White … uh, um, ah, something or other.  The Congressman requested all members to stand and offer a “moment of crotch-grabbing” in the House this morning as a tribute to Michael Jackson for establishing his Neverland Ranch as a place of refuge and love for young boys of all races and creeds, and for proving to those Americans born Black that they do not have to accept their fate, but can metamorphasize themselves into White folk and be proud.

The Video: Rep. Jesse Jackson Thanks God for Michael Jackson

When asked to explain why the United States Congress does not publicly give thanks to God on the floor of the House chamber for American soldiers who sacrifice their lives in battle for their fellow countrymen, Rep. Jesse Jackson Jr. asked if any of them were celebrated as the World’s Greatest Musician of all time; greater than Bach, Beethoven and even Elvis. Congressman Jackson continued: “As fine as our warriors are, none of them has yet been able to fight in battle wearing a sequined glove upon one hand, much less moon-walk while carrying arms into battle.”

UPDATE: A Congressional Resolution Honoring Michael Jackson!


Obama Candyman

May 25, 2009

♫ Who can take tomorrow And spend it all today?

♫ Who can take your income And tax it all away?

♪ Obama-man can!

Obama-man Sing Along, from Greg Morton (Good thing he’s a black guy, or this lampooning of the President would be RACIST!)

Who can fix the mortgage?

General Motors, too

A bailout check for me

And a bailout check for you

Obama Man. Yes, Obama Man can

Obama Man can ’cause he mixes it with hope

And makes the world taste good

Who can give ya health care?

Who can save the poor?

Who can pick the teams

That are in the Final Four?

Obama Man. Yes, Obama Man can

Obama Man can ’cause he mixes it with hope

And makes the world feel good

Obama man takes problems

And he makes ‘em into cream and peaches

With sugar-coated, smooth-tongued speeches

I hope he practices what he preaches

Who can take tomorrow

Spend it all today?

Who can take your incomes

And tax it all away?

Obama Man. Yes, Obama Man can

Obama Man can ’cause he mixes it with hope

And makes the world feel good

Yes, Obama Man takes

Every speech he makes

Gives it a whole bunch of thinkin’

When Michelle Obama’s winkin’

Then he runs it by Abe Lincoln

Who can buy an iPod

Give it to the queen?

Who can take a cut of me

And turn it into green?

Obama Man. Yes, Obama Man can

Obama Man, Obama Man, Obama Man

Hey Chrysler, GM — you want some money?

Ford, you want some? No, you don’t?

OK, good. More for GM

God bless this mess, everybody

Obama Man can

We need some more lyrics describing how Obama-man can make abortion sound like a sunlit walk in the park, close Gitmo yet keep it open, and blame everything that he cannot get right on George Bush.


America’s New Theme Song

January 28, 2009

FORGET ‘My Country Tis of Thee.’ America’s new song is “PAY ME MY MONEY DOWN.”

Corporations do it, banks do it, Wall Street’s a doing it, so why not us working stiffs? March on Washington and surround the White House, chanting to Mr. Obama: “PAY ME MY MONEY DOWN.” Afterall, Obama loves chants, doesn’t he? Do you think we can enlist “The Boss” Mr. Springsteen as our leader?

Don’t worry about that nasty threat of  “go to jail.” That’ll never happen again, as our great new leader of America’s Treasury and Income Tax Departments, Timothy Geithner, has shown by example. Secretary of the Treasury Geithner says to follow his lead and don’t bother paying your taxes. “Go to jail” ain’t never gonna happen no more. The worst to expect is that you may be asked to fill a high-paying, fat cat goverment position – like Secretary of the Treasury, in charge of the IRS. OH GLORY!


Cryin’ Bob Butler

August 1, 2007

With apologies to Johnny Ray’s “Cry” …

If your sweetheart leaves you for an older man,
It’s no secret you’ll feel better if you slam … her.
When waking from a bad dream,
Don’t you sometimes think it’s real?
But it’s only false emotions that you feel.

If your heartaches seem to hang around too long,
And your blues keep getting bluer with each song,
Remember hope can be found at the end of your hand.
So pour your vengeance into an e-mail and click “SEND.”

Pulitzer Prize winning author Robert Olen Butler, has found the Internet way of dealing with a broken heart. When his wife, Elizabeth Dewberry, left him to join the Ted Turner Collection, he poured his feelings into an e-mail and sent it only to his university’s department. They would need to know the details of the break-up of his marriage. The thoughtful academics and young students should be warned that marrying a woman young enough to be one’s daughter is no guarantee that she will NOT leave you for a grandfather surrogate. It’s not so evil, as before clicking “SEND”, he showed the e-mail to his weepy wife who weepingly agreed that the world needed to know all the personal details of her twelve year marriage to him, plus her sexual and medical history from childhood onward. It was not like he disclosed her social security number or anything bad like that.

HI ALL – FROM BOB (PS – Forward this e-mail to everyone you know. If you need more details, just write me.)

Rumors will soon be swirling around the department, so I want to tell the full and nuanced story to the five of you among the graduate students and ask that you clarify the issues for any of your fellow grad students who ask. This sort of thing can get wildly distorted pretty quickly. You can feel free to use any part or all of this email to do so. I really appreciate your help.

Put down your cup of coffee or you might spill it.

Elizabeth is leaving me for Ted Turner.

She and I will remain the best of friends. She also knows about, endorses, and even encourages that I tell this much detail of the story:
She has spoken openly in her work and in her public life of the fact that she was molested by her grandfather from an early age, a molestation that was known and tacitly condoned by her radically Evangelical Christian parents. She then went into a decade-long abusive marriage. I met her when she was in a terminally desperate state from this lifetime of abuse, and we married and we truly loved each other.

I was able to help her a great deal. She says I saved her life. But de facto therapy as the initial foundation of a marriage eventually sucks the life out of a relationship. And it is very common for a woman to be drawn to men who remind them of their childhood abusers. Ted is such a man, though fortunately, he is far from being abusive. From all that I can tell, he is kind to her, loyal, considerate, and devoted to his family, and perhaps, therefore, he can redeem some things for her.

Further, Elizabeth has never been able to step out of the shadow of the Pulitzer. As you know-and she knows-I have been an avid admirer and supporter of her work. Everyone has heard me proclaim my sincere high regard for her as an artist. I often did this publicly. But she has published two brilliant novels since she’s been with me and neither has gotten anywhere near the recognition that they richly deserve. That made it harder and harder for her to live with the ongoing praise and opportunity that flows to a Pulitzer winner. Not because of jealousy. She has always been very happy for me. But the multitude of small reflections of regard that came my way inevitably threw a spotlight on the absence of those expressions of regard for her. She felt as if she was failing as a writer.

Then, in March, she nearly died from an intestinal blockage in Argentina while on a trip with Ted. The trauma of that led her further to profoundly question her own identity. It became clear to her that the only way she can truly find herself is by making this change in her life.

She will not be Ted’s only girlfriend. Ted is permanently and avowedly non-monogamous. But though he has several girlfriends, it is a very small number, and he does not take them up lightly and he gives them his absolute support when he does. And Elizabeth’s leaving me is as much about the three weeks a month she is alone as it is about the week a month she is with Ted. She will find her own space and her own light in which to create the great works of art she is destined to create.

I will keep my house. I will keep my dogs and cats. I will keep virtually everything. She is being characteristically generous about that. But I will lose Elizabeth. And that is very sad. But the loss has been happening through many years of our shared struggle to make her whole. In that, I’ve done all I can do, as has she. I wish her the best. I ask you not to think ill of her in any way.

Elizabeth and I will now conduct ourselves as if this is public knowledge. So as I suggested at the outset, you need not keep this to yourself, if the occasion arises to speak of it to someone. This is best anyway, since I am not up to the task of telling this story over and over.

I have a high regard and affection for the students in our program. I hope this will help them sort out this rather intense story in an appropriate way.
Best,
Bob Butler

As you know, MONEY CHANGES EVERYTHING, and it will compensate poor little Elizabeth for those twelve years she endured living in the shadow of “MY” Pulitzer. BB


Sayeth The Danny

January 25, 2007

Famous quotes of Washington’s great Mr. Daniel “The Danny” Snyder, and Kerfuffles translation of them:

  • “I have found that what drives me is the desire to prove, to myself and to my peers, that I can do what I set out to do and build something that matters.”

Kerfuffles translates: If building “something that matters” requires the destruction of classical music in my own community, so be it. Afterall, those old foggies who care about it will soon be dead, and the young people growing up here don’t even know what classical music is.

  • “I don’t measure my ‘success’ every day. I measure how much we have left to do.”

Kerfuffles translates: Even after piercing the heart of classical music by killing WGMS, there is much more for me to accomplish in my community that will bring me even more big bucks.

  • “The only way to succeed when you’re understaffed and undercapitalized and under-everything is just to work your brains out.”

Kerfuffles translates: Since I, “The Danny” have no brains left, why would I care about classical music?

God Rest Ye – WGMS-fm

WGMS – FM in Washington