Queen Elizabeth Munster

July 11, 2007

 And the Revenge of the Picasa2 Nerds:

How great is this? The famous American lady photographer, Annie Leibovitz , won the gig to shoot the Queen on her eightieth birthday. During the shooting, Annie the First requested, ever so politely, that Elizabeth the Second remove her gem-encrusted sparkling spiked tiara from her royal head, in order to make a more down-to-earth and interesting portrait. Elizabeth, Head of Church and State, was so stunned at this extraordinary “decrowning” demand from a mere mortal, that she lost her queenly temper and regally stormed out of the palace chamber, dragging her train behind her. Actually, she did not drag her velvet train as it was most carefully carried by the Queen’s ladies in waiting.

During the programme photographer US celebrity snapper Annie Leibovitz sizes up the Queen in her full regalia and ventures: “I think it will look better without the crown, because the garter robe is so…” . Before the photographer can finish … the Queen raises her eyebrows, fixes the snapper with an icy stare, and snaps: “Less dressy? What do you think this is?” TV cameras follow the Queen storming off with an official lifting the large train of her blue velvet cape off the floor as the Queen tells her lady-in-waiting: “I’m not changing anything. I’ve had enough dressing like this thank you very much.” This is all according to reports from Britain’s Daily Mail.

Leibovitz, being the pro that she is, managed to snap the footage of the stormy whirlwind and captured Her Majesty’s face at the very moment that Majesty was contemplating sending Annie to the Tower of London. It gets even worse, for although Queen Lillibett may have given commoner Annie a piece of her mind, it was actually Annie who got the last laugh, with this — the official photographic portrait of the long-lived queen. Not only is Elizabeth “uncrowned”, but Annie has turned her into a vampire looking Munster Queen.

Queen Elizabeth Munster

And I bet Annie did it with Picasa 2 too, using the “Focal B & W” effect, although she will never admit it.

UPDATE: Since I first “reported” this event as it appeared in Britain’s “Daily Mail”, it has been discovered that the original news story came from the BBC, which has now apologized to both the Queen and Annie for misrepresenting the behavior of both. So the new news is that The Queen and Annie are good and proper folks and it is the BBC that deserves contempt … I guess. It is a bit much for Kerfuffles to find and follow the truth, however, Annie’s portrait of Queen Lillibett Munster has not changed … yet.

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MDs with IEDs

July 3, 2007

It is just another benefit of socialized medicine that has been denied to Americans.

Thank God and thank the Republicans that America has not “yet” implemented Saint Hillary’s socialized medicine plan. It was those rascally Republicans who denied that benefit of “MDs with IEDs” to America by destroying Hillary Clinton’s plan for a national health care system.  (IEDs are improvised explosive devices: Wikipedia.)

If you are wondering why at least six of the suspects in the foiled bombings by Al-Qaeda in the United Kingdom were medical doctors, you need wonder no longer. It has been announced that all of the suspected terrorist medical personnel were employed by Britain’s National Health System.

Many years ago, the vast majority of docs in Britain’s NHS were British-trained and British-born. Today “Foreign Doctors Are the Lifeblood of NHS.” The United Kingdom still trains its share of homegrowns, however many, many of these medical graduates choose not to practice under socialized medicine. That was a situation that NHS easily surmounted as they merely replaced them with foreign doctors who were not near as demanding as the British doctors were, even though as far back as the year 2000 there were complaints:  Row Over Foreign Doctors

Now it has come to this: the socialization of medicine in the UK is responsible for medical doctors who are choosing to create patients rather than heal them. Today’s British NHS seems to be staffed by MDs with IEDs as the British people are left wondering where all the terrorists are coming from and how they can afford to blow up pricey Mercedes automobiles. “Terror Ringleader is Brilliant NHS Doctor


Tea Time in England

June 2, 2005

Teatime in old Britain is not what it used to be when our grannies spoke of the time honored tradition according to “The Hammer”. Hot tea is no longer being served in the dainty porcelain teacups. No, the British have never cottoned to that cold beverage quaintly served in mason jars in the American South – Iced Tea! It is another beverage. English teatime has now evolved into a feast of more sustenance. First it was the tiny cookies that they think are “biscuits”. They then began serving real biscuits with jam, but they called them “scones”. Then came the tea sandwiches, salads, champagne, and so much food that no one ate “supper” anymore. However they never knew it, as they think “supper” is dinner anyway. Now it’s party-time! Supping or sipping tea has never been so popular before this innovation. Upper crust hostesses have always served “high teas” with clotted cream and other extravagant delicacies. And yes, they do eat that “clotted what-ever-it-is” on biscuits that they call scones. Now a “high tea” really lives up to its name! The “oh so elegant” now have to provide for sleepovers afterwards, as no guest is in proper driving condition to serve as a “designated driver”, if they have those in England. Now everyone, including the “designated drivers”, are “sozzled” and passed out on the floor. Too bad the Brits never caught onto the Southern idea of “cookies” and “iced tea” with a twist of lemon and a sprig of fresh mint. Who can blame them, living on such a damp, foggy and chilly island, overshadowed by the Europeans, yet within whistling distance of American taunts?

All of England Drunk: “What is the explanation behind this national drunk? There is undoubtedly an alarming trend of increased alcohol consumption in England,’ said Dr. John Sweetmeat from the British Institute on Substance Research, a public health organization critical of more liberalized liquor laws in the UK. Drinking is a way of life in England. If you aren’t drunk, you soon will be.”

This post was first made at Kerfuffles I in June 2005.