Poor Dave. Forced Into a Shotgun Marriage at His Advanced Age. What a Pity!
It was too, too sickening. Julia Roberts’ fawning and teasing 62-year-old David “The Lecher” Letterman on what had prompted America’s most celebrated woman-hater to tie the knot. “I don’t know if I can look you in the eye anymore…” she told him. “Last time I saw you, you were single and then I, like, hypnotized you in my white suit or something and you went off and married Regina.” Oh, it was ME, ME, ME, Julia Roberts, who motivated old Dave to sneak out and secretly marry someone he had, for many, many years avoided marrying.
Well … Ms. Roberts, flatter yourself as you may, but YOU had nothing to do with David Letterman’s “shotgun” marriage. Neither did his bride, Regina Lasko, as she had tried and failed in the past to get him to the alter. It was Governor Sarah Palin who came gunning for him and FORCED him kicking and screaming to the alter. Dave was not a happy camper.
Since Sarah Palin appeared on the political scene, David LETTERMAN has been having a misogynist’s dream with ridiculing both her and her seventeen-year-old daughter for not aborting their “undesirable” babies, as any progressive Liberal woman would have done. He became especially obsessed with placing the Scarlet A upon the breast of Governor Palin’s young, underage daughter, whom David Lettermen lampooned as “knocked up.” Yes, you’ve got that right. David Letterman, a sixty-something third-rate comic labelling an underage girl as a slut for getting pregnant. As if the young girl did not already have enough problems, her pregnancy was the object of David Letterman’s vile lechery, night after night on national CBS television.
All the while that David Letterman was condemning Bristol Palin for getting pregnant, or “knocked-up” as was his usual description, he never once saw himself as he really was. He was never able to see his own reflection in a mirror, for if he had he would have seen that he was the superior “male” pot calling the slutty “female” kettle black. David Letterman had “knocked-up” one of his own employees six years prior, and she too refused to get an abortion. How about them apples? Poor Dave. He never once realized what a hypocrite he was until “friends” started pointing it out to him.
Not only his friends, but soon his enemies who were pro-women and supporters of Sarah Palin, began calling him a hypocrite for what he had been doing to the young Palin daughter. While Bristol Palin was condemned to wear the Scarlet A about her neck, lecherous David Letterman was getting lots of laughs from CBS’s audience of drunken and stoned twenty-year-old women-haters just by mentioning the Palin family.
So … one day, tired of being labeled a hypocrite, Old Dave sneaked off with his former “knocked-up” employee and her “out-of -wedlock” five-year-old child and had an official marriage ceremony performed. Looming over Old Dave with her moose-hunting shotgun to his head was Sarah Palin, the unofficial Maid of Honor. Later, David Letterman came to his senses and realized what had happened to him. After all these years of bachelorhood he had been forced into a marriage that he had never intended, to someone who was his definition of a slut who got “knocked-up.” This was a tragic state of affairs for an avowed chauvinist pig.
Knowing that his marriage was totally the fault of the Palins, as soon as he arrived back from his supposed secret honeymoon, off he went on the Palins. That is when he started making fun of the fourteen-year-old Palin daughter. She was not even pregnant, so he made up jokes about her being “knocked up” by a prominent athlete and serving as a prostitute for a former governor of New York.
David Letterman got lots of laughs from a CBS audience of sexual perverts when he described a fourteen-year-old child being raped by a male athlete while she was at a baseball game with her mother, who apparently looked the other way. (The Video) When complaints came in to CBS and Letterman’s advertisers, including Mars M&M Candy, Lexus, Kellogg’s, Olive Garden, Downey, Best Western, Hellman’s, and others about the harm being inflicted upon American women and children by David Letterman’s trivializing rape of a child, the comic, in a brazen show of contempt, followed up by repeating every one of the offensive jokes and more on a following national broadcast. CBS knows that David Letterman is a misogynist bigot, but as long as he is not a conservative misogynist bigot, that is A-okay with CBS.