U.S. Takeover by Cyberspies

“If we go to war with them, they will try to turn them on,” — Government official to Wall Street  Journal

New evidence has just been uncovered that cyberspies, likely from China and Russia, have penetrated the U.S. power grid and left behind spyware software that can be activated to disrupt America’s water, sewer and electricity infrastructure, FOX News confirmed today.

The “intrusions,” first reported by The Wall Street Journal, did not occur yesterday, but happened over the period of time when George W. Bush was in charge, a high-ranking U.S. official said. The breaches are “something that the Bush Administration failed to catch,” the official reminded FOX News. Barack Obama himself was asked by the American media if Americans should be concerned that the spyware that Mr. Obama inherited from George W. Bush could be activated during Obama’s reign to disrupt critical systems and make his administration appear inept.

White House spokesman Nick Shapiro said in a written statement that President Obama takes the issue of cyber security ‘very seriously,’ but that the administration is not aware of any such ‘disruptions’ to the power grid. Cyber attacks are made all the time, however, industry continuously looks for and mitigates against such attacks and we are not aware of any disruptions to the power grid caused by deliberate cyber activity here in the United States.

While the motivation for the breaches is not well understood, the electronic trail appears to lead to China and Russia. However, both of those nations deny involvement in state-sponsored cyperspying. Officials at both Washington embassies of China and Russia emphatically deny that any of their spies in the United States are certified as cyperspies.

The good news, according to The Wall Street Journal, is that the cyperspying espionage appeared pervasive across the country and did not target any particular ethnic group nor sexual persuasion. Indeed, government officials explained to the Journal, the cyberspying intrusions were detected by those same U.S. intelligence agencies, CIA, DIA, NSA, etcetera, that had been asleep at the wheel during the Bush administration, when “man-made disaster” pilots were flying American-made airplanes into American-made buildings.

“‘If we go to war with them, they will try to turn them on,’ one official told the Journal.” That is why the Obama Administration has already sent a message to both China and Russia, promising that the Obama Nation will NEVER wage war against either of their nations. China, Russia, the rest of the world, and the American people need to be reassured that President Barack Obama will never be a President George W. Bush.

Satire is probably closer to the truth than any real news you can read in America.

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