Landover Baptist Church

Although Landover Baptist Church bills itself as “satire,” it is a very VILE site and I do not recommend visiting its links. There’s nothing funny there. However, the publishers have a right to lampoon and satirize Jesus and the Christian religion. The rest of us have the right to not read their rantings and hate-filled writings.  
 
Please DO NOT click on the links below. I do not put them here; Wordpress does & I have no control over them. They are vile & hate-filled. I am contemplating deleting this entire post, as I do not want people to patronize that group.
 

 

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25 Responses to Landover Baptist Church

  1. Jenna says:

    It is truly vile…the members and moderators take great pleasure in insulting guests and new members to the the point of editing their profiles and posts to say vile things.
    It should be shut down

  2. jamie says:

    YES!! BAN THE FREETHINKS!! SHUT DOWN FREE THOUGHT!! DEATH TO THE ATHEIST. THE WORLD IS ALL ABOUT US CHRISTIANS.. ALL OTHERS SHOULD SHUT UP.. EVEN MY DOG IS BAPTISED!! KEEP THEM AWAY FROM OUR KIDS AND OUR HANDICAPPED!!

    PRAISE JESUS

    hate to break it to you.. but NO ONE can shut them
    down.

  3. Allie says:

    I can’t believe that they can get away with this by saying it’s satire. Cowards.

    Finally, there’s somebody out there who agrees with me. I thought I was the only one who thought they were vile and vicious.

  4. Maria says:

    What the Landover Baptist Church is? It is simply a hate group that disembles in it’s self-description of satire and/or parody. They “are” a hate group, imo.

  5. Tina says:

    Landover Baptist Church is certainly is a hate group, indeed. Landover isn’t supposed to a real church or a church that “truly” exists, “except on the internet”. Yet, they demand that you give them money (like you would a REAL church). They want and accept donations. Not just petty cash either. They’ll try to manipulate folks into donating at least $200.00. If they accept donations, they are indeed a church, right? But they’ll say that they’re not really a church. They say whatever they can to keep us confused and off their backs. It is my belief that they tell “us” that they are satire or a parody to keep the FBI and other organizations from investigating them. They say what they can to keep their hate a secret, so they won’t be accused of being terrorists. Landover has a few followers. Real dopes too. Sister Mary Maria and Brother Temperance are members with profiles on their message board. They actually believe this rubbish they sell to be the truth. Brother Temperence had even showed pictures of his pro-life marches in England. I think this is only the start of it. Landover Baptist Church is molding these lonely idiots into their disciples to cause hate, havoc, and possibly even terrorism. But once these morons actually do something that will be illegal and have them arrested, Landover will wash their hands of the incident, altogether, and claim ignorance. Then they would use that parody/satire excuse and say that they’re not a real church. I see that one coming a mile away. I had also seen that other profiles on there that were indeed fake. These profiles were possibly created by the webmaster himself (or the other “church deacons”) to show to others that there are other church members and other people (selected sinners) who have been on there for a while, posting. But if you’re a new join (with a real profile), they edit what you say and try to ban you from telling their trained idiots that their “church” is supposed to be a parody. Then the church members will gang up on you, and insult you in hopes that you will leave the board or get kicked off of their website. (They do this right after they figure out that you’re not going to give an expensive “donation”) Again, they don’t want their trained rejects to be influenced by anything you say. They don’t want people to know their dirty, little secrets. There is truly something foreboding in the unreal, yet “so very real” Baptist Church of Landover.

  6. Ian says:

    Tina, are you serious? It’s hard to tell. If you are actually confused by the Landover site, I feel for you. It is such an obviously satirical site that only a fool would think it is real. And, as far as I can tell, their only dirty little secret is that their satire is not as good as the Onion’s. While most everything on the site might be in poor taste, it is not illegal. It’s also true that most of the mockery on the site can’t hold a candle to some of the stupidity produced by fundamentalist Christians. The reality of these beliefs is darker, more hateful, crazier, and less informed than the wildest inventions of the Landover folks.

  7. Tina says:

    Ian, I know that they are SUPPOSED to be satire, but try and log into their message board and tell one of their idiot followers that their church is fake and that the LBC is supposed to be satire. Their moderators will change what is said and it will be posted entirely different as in: “Landover Baptist Church is an actual righteous church of God”. The LBC had posted their phoney mailing address with a zip code, which of course, doesn’t exist. But I can assure you that their Paypal is real. I’m sure it will accept your money/credit card. So what actually is this? Is it a bunch of basement trolls who are making money off this nonsense? Somebody is sitting behind their computers pretending to be these church people who are posting. I notice that they use the same pictures over and over (Pastor Ezekiel, Mary Maria, Bible Thumpin’ Blonde for example). They even now have their own profiles on myspace/facebook, which uses the exact same pictures. These people may possibly be fake, but someone or different people are really wasting a lot of time putting on an act. And I believe that they have followers who think that they are for real. Brother Temperance is an actual cyber-basher who protests against abortions in England. I saw his pictures posted on that website, many months ago. That scared me enough to believe that there are nutjobs in this world who would believe this nonsense to be real and would listen to anything these trolls tell them to do; including hurting other people. Once this happens, the trolls/LBC pastors and or posters will claim that their website had nothing to do with the hate crime and that their website is totally satire and that only an idiot would take them seriously. Well the world is filled with idiots who would take them seriously and would commit hate crimes for them. The LBC preys upon these losers, just for fun. That’s what makes the LBC a hate group.

  8. Peetey says:

    Landover scares the heck out of me! Fundamentalists like that are ruinging Christianity! They believe in a vengeful angry God, not real Jesus. Is making fun of Jesus even legal?

  9. LazyGurl says:

    OMG people…Landover is NOT a satire! A lot of people on the internet seem to think that and everyone says that, but they are for REAL and they are CRAZY. Yea some people come by and make fake accounts, but these loonies are real and very dangerous. By calling them a parody you dismiss them instead of seeing them for the real right-wing crazies they are. A couple of those nutjobs protested near my town a couple months ago and oh god you dont want to go near them at all. They are just like that Michael Phelps guy at Westboro Baptist you know the guy that says “God hates f*gs”. LANDOVER AND WESTBORO ARE SICK RADICAL CHRISTIANS AND THERE SITE NEEDS TO BE TAKEN OFF THE AIR!!!!

  10. Paliban Mom says:

    I don’t understand why so many people insist that anyone who follows Jesus and all of God’s Word — not just the happy bits that fit on nice bumper stickers or greeting cards — is “satire” or a joke of some sort.

    I’ve looked at this Landover Baptist Church forum* (landoverbaptist.net), and it looks very real to me. They back everything up with Scripture.

    I don’t see any hate there, “Tina”. (Is that a reference to your drug of choice, dear? Mine’s Jesus, you might want to give Him a try!)

    I see Christians working to show others what the Bible actually says, so they can Choose Jesus instead of the false, “happy hippie” version promoted by Father Feelgood and his offering plate-passing cronies like Joel Osteen.

    *I apologize. I wrote my comment before realizing that you were talking about the landoverbaptist.org website. I’m not sure, but I could be convinced that it is a sick gag made up to mock the Christians on the Landover.net discussion forum.

  11. Tina says:

    I don’t use drugs of any sort. I don’t drink either. Landover Baptist Church say they are not serious or they are satire to keep the law/FBI off their back, while at the same time, they accept donations/tithes, like a real church and they tell their followers they are a real church. But their message is cruel, negative, destructive and mean. It’s another form of terrorism, but they have found a way to practice their sick beliefs, and organize their cult without being investigted or arrested.

  12. Lucas says:

    I think Landover is a cult. They remind me a lot of scientology: All about making the money to finance all their expensive construction in their town and silencing those who disagree with them. Their Pastor Ezekiel has even mentioned getting a new Cadillac Escalade each year. I don’t think this is satire at all, since how could he afford a new SUV every year? No, they are a real church out to make money and twist the Jesus’s words around!

  13. Erich says:

    I am from Germany, Landover is so real as you can imagine. The People in the Background are not who you believe. They are special People from a Church. I know this. They are paid a lot of money for their Writings. They may make as if it is not real but what they say is all in the Bible. They believe that Christian people are not Christian and want them to be full Bible Believers not just the nice parts. They say Jesus will kill people who do not believe with Him – and they are right! The Bible says this.

    The people who write for Landover are believing that America and then the world must be ruled by bible laws.

    Thank you. (My Englisch is not so good)

  14. Milarepa says:

    As a practicing Buddhist, I find those Christians on Landover Baptist forums repellent. But after reading some of their threads and bible quotes, I have to say they are 100% accurate. They seem as real as any other Christian website I’ve seen. Their bible quotes are verbatim, and they don’t make fun of anything Christian that I can see. They have plenty of trolls who DO make fun of things, so it’s sometimes hard to sort out who’s a real Christian and who’s a teenager there to tease them. I’ve seen them ban people for “disrespecting God” and so on. They say they want to get rid of the U.S. Constitution and replace it with the bible. That scares me more than anything. That Pastor Ezekiel dude is scary too.

  15. Tina says:

    Those slugs over on the LBC.net are now rejoicing the deaths of Michael Jackson, Farrah Fawcett, and Ed McMahon. That is not the love of Christ. That is true HATE from a wacked out religious cult. It also shows how stupid they are too. They never say anything about serial killers and or those who have raped, attacked and killed other innocent people. They never mention “the infamous” serial killers. They’re not that smart enough to focus any negativity on those who deserve it. No, they just sit back and talk bad about celebrities. It’s because they are jealous of celebrities and their well-to-do incomes, even though the members of these cults usually have money to burn themselves.

  16. Kerfuffles says:

    PLEASE! Don’t go there! When you visit their site, you are encouraging them to continue their anti-Christian rantings. There is nothing Christian about them. Just ignore them. I don’t know what you are talking about as I NEVER go there.

  17. *Rain* says:

    OMG people. Are you so silly? Wiki or Google Landover. It IS a satire site. It was created by a former student of Liberty University, which if you do your research, you’ll see that Liberty was started by Jerry Falwell, a televangelist with a seriously questionable reputation. They are simply by way of heavy exaggeration showing the absurdity of the beliefs of strict fundamental religious sects. You know, like the ones who have compounds and beat their wives and follow the OLD Testament law, not the New. So they quote scripture. Oh well, the devil himself can quote scripture. It doesn’t make HIM a Christian. Just because I call myself something doesn’t make me one. I don’t justify the site, but I certainly don’t take it seriously. If you do….well. You shouldn’t, needless to say.

  18. Temperance says:

    Do you have a grudge against Jesus or something? We are as real as God’s love and the flames of Hell. Everything we say is 100% Christian truth. If you don’t like Our Lord’s message, that’s unfortunate, but don’t go blaming Christ for it.

  19. Nathan Greene says:

    Okay, for the last time, Landover as Satire is used ONLY so they can publicly say whatever they want. It is used purely for legal reasons. Did you know, that according to the law, a website that bills itself as satire has much more freedom of speech than a website that bills itself as religious?

    Landover uses the Satire cover so they can talk about things that could get them in trouble legally. They would be prosecuted for hate speech, etc.

    Landover is 100% real. Don’t give me that “Wiki says its satire” nonsense because I already told you that is a cover story. They have posters there with over 30,000 posts! Would someone stick around that long for the sake of a single joke? Hardly. Also, to be fair, their Biblical knowledge is immense. While I am a Catholic and don’t agree with them in their interpretation of the Bible, I do give them credit that they have studied the Bible in depth and quote any verse to support their views. In fact, they know more about the Bible than my own priest does!

    I seriously doubt a “satirical” site would know more about the Bible than an actual priest. Landover is real, folks. It’s a hard pill to swallow, but it’s true.

  20. Peetey says:

    I was just there and they are talking about building a new Creation Museum with a water slide in it! And a 3D movie theater too! How could a fake church afford to do that? It doesn’t even make sense!

  21. Tina says:

    Nathan Greene’s post speaks the truth. Nobody would waste their time posting more than 30,000 times, just to keep a joke going. Landover uses the word “satire” to keep the authorities off their backs….while this so-called “church that doesn’t truly exist”, secretly recruits morons like “Temperance” to go out and bomb abortion clinics and commit other illegal acts of terrorism. Then once Landover gets investigated, of course, they’ll say..”Well, we were just kidding with what we were saying….it’s all satire….we shouldn’t be held accountable for a few fruitcakes taking what we say seriously!”

  22. Chris says:

    This is quite possibly the funniest comment thread I’ve seen in months. The level of stupidity is only surpassed by the abundance of ignorance.

    Their entire organization is satire – brilliant satire at that.

    …and the fact that you can’t even see it (some of you) is why the site has been such a success.

    Absolutely hilarious.

  23. Tina says:

    Hey, Chris…April Fools! Your timing for your post couldn’t be any better.

    Nathan Greene had a good point (August 16, 2009). Why would people make so many posts for one single joke? Why would Landover want hundreds of dollars from you for donations if they’re not supposed to be a real church? Sure, there is a sucker born every minute, but if this “satire website” recruits at least one person to bomb an abortion clinic, or to harm another human being, they are just as bad as these endtimer churches/cults. All for the sake of a joke. So keep on saying I’m stupid or ignorant, as well as the rest of us. At least I’m not stupid enough to being giving my hard-earned money away to a hate group that comes across to others as “harmless satire”.

  24. Tina says:

    This site is fake! If you go to the terms of service and scroll all the way down, there is a “spoiler link”. Highlight it and it says that the organization is a joke

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