Will Anyone Answer?
“Tell them we are ready for democracy”: a Libyan dissident’s message to Washington.
What is it with you countries? Ever since that Chimpster Bush has been elected, one podunk country after another thinks it should have freedom and democracy too. Well, just because we have it, Mr. Chimpster Bush, doesn’t mean we have to share it with the rest of the world. These desert kingdoms and principalities don’t have a clue about democracy. All they know is that they want it because we have it. They think we are happy. They think we are great. See, how you have misled the world, President Chimpster? You lied! We have freed Iraq, so that should be the end of this FEEDOM novelty. Enough Already! Right now Iranian citizens are clamoring for freedom and they want our help. They used to call us “The Great Satan”, but since you have been in office, President Chimpster, they now think we are, “Santa Claus”. You have really messed up this world! And Libya? Holy Piggly Wiggly! Tell them the truth if you have the guts, Mr. Chimpster Bush. Tell them that even though they think we are happy, that we are not. Tell them how they cannot really understand how to run a democracy. Tell them that Freedom is not all it is cracked up to be. Tell them that it takes Americans twenty minutes just to decide which toothpaste to buy. That is what comes of freedom – too damn many choices. We should not force our personal beliefs onto others and make them as miserable as we are. Tell it like it is! They only want democracy because they do not have it. Look at us! We have it, and we don’t even know we have it, because we are spending all of our time making choices. We have no time left to think about such things as freedom and democracy..
Mr. Chimpster President – When they call, just DON’T ANSWER the phone! When they say they are ready for Democracy, tell them to eat cake. It’s that simple.