Tea Time in England

Teatime in old Britain is not what it used to be when our grannies spoke of the time honored tradition according to “The Hammer”. Hot tea is no longer being served in the dainty porcelain teacups. No, the British have never cottoned to that cold beverage quaintly served in mason jars in the American South – Iced Tea! It is another beverage. English teatime has now evolved into a feast of more sustenance. First it was the tiny cookies that they think are “biscuits”. They then began serving real biscuits with jam, but they called them “scones”. Then came the tea sandwiches, salads, champagne, and so much food that no one ate “supper” anymore. However they never knew it, as they think “supper” is dinner anyway. Now it’s party-time! Supping or sipping tea has never been so popular before this innovation. Upper crust hostesses have always served “high teas” with clotted cream and other extravagant delicacies. And yes, they do eat that “clotted what-ever-it-is” on biscuits that they call scones. Now a “high tea” really lives up to its name! The “oh so elegant” now have to provide for sleepovers afterwards, as no guest is in proper driving condition to serve as a “designated driver”, if they have those in England. Now everyone, including the “designated drivers”, are “sozzled” and passed out on the floor. Too bad the Brits never caught onto the Southern idea of “cookies” and “iced tea” with a twist of lemon and a sprig of fresh mint. Who can blame them, living on such a damp, foggy and chilly island, overshadowed by the Europeans, yet within whistling distance of American taunts?

All of England Drunk: “What is the explanation behind this national drunk? There is undoubtedly an alarming trend of increased alcohol consumption in England,’ said Dr. John Sweetmeat from the British Institute on Substance Research, a public health organization critical of more liberalized liquor laws in the UK. Drinking is a way of life in England. If you aren’t drunk, you soon will be.”

This post was first made at Kerfuffles I in June 2005.

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